Why failure, hurt and pain are key drivers to finding your purpose, being successful and making a dent in this world.
School and almost all of society taught us that failing is a bad thing, one of my biggest issues with schools and parents is the notion of perfection and brushing losing or failing under the carpet. I’m here to tell you it’s your NBFFAEAE (new best friend forever and ever and ever). Failing is learning and the quicker you become comfortable with this fact the happier and more successful you will be. I’ve failed heaps of times and it’s shaped my best ideas, thoughts, relationships and decisions.
Successes and highlights:
- Captain of school and club soccer teams from age 7 – 17
- Met my now wife at age 19 and had our first baby together at 23 (she was 24 had a proper job and was a stunner)
- Became a leading real estate agent in London, top tier company and held number 1 agent in the office after less than 12 months in the job
- Used the sales commission to purchase a apartment in London age 20 for precisely $400K USD equivalent
- Head hunted after 2.5 years to work for a recruiter and doubled my salary with my job offer
- Promoted a total of 6 times in 10 years across mainly 2 companies
- Highest recorded single fee in Australian history for leading global recruiter
- Over $7 million in commission fees for highly successful executive recruitment firms and head hunted for every role I’ve obtained.
Learning’s from the past decade of success…just the one…
- The feeling of material success is short lived and you need to top it up constantly!
Failures and low lights:
- Parents got divorced almost overnight at 14
- Got dropped from first team and never regained my place in the team
- Dropped out of school age 17 because my life got tough
- Got a job handing out towels in a sports club telling everyone I was a ‘Personal Trainer’
- Tried to get into Real Estate, made 23 job applications and had 12 interviews, got knocked back for every single one
- Acting like one person at work and another at home and nearly ended my relationship
- Had 2 longer stints and 2 very short ones at work, by choosing with my wallet not my heart.
Learning’s from a decade of failures…LOTS
- Laughter in the face of adversity
- How to pick yourself up off the floor
- Don’t take yourself seriously
- No-one and nothing can break you
- Failing is the only path to enlightenment
- Leave your ego at the door
- You don’t have all the answers
- Life isn’t predictable
- Change is progress
- Growth is neccessity
- Cherish everyday
- Spend time with the ones you love
- Invest in those who get you and don’t waste time on everyone else
- Friends are people who step up when you need them most
- Ask for help
- Perfection is a myth
- Success is in the eyes of the beholder
- Legacy is currency – thank you Gary Vee
So do yourself a favour, next time you fail at something or think that material success is somehow the meaning of life…make a decision to focus on what you learnt and how you’re going to use this experience to grow and give more.